Rumors of Tom Felton’s Rap Career’s Demise Have Been… Well, Overly *Under*exaggerated

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I’m sure many of you have seen the recent news that Tom Felton was apparently due to become the next 50-Cent… except… he’d probably be something like 50-Quid or, if he was going to become a Harry Potter Musician, 50-Knuts (I think that’s a very rapper name, don’t you? Fits well with all kinds of wonderful stereotypes]. The fast-talk/poetry take over, however, seems to have been a few knuts short of a Bertie-Botts-Every-Flavour-Forbidden-Forest-Trail-Mix — What a mouthful (See what I did there?). [Dragon Dung cashews anyone? Hide-of-Centaur peanuts? Will you ever eat cashews or peanuts again, I wonder (I don’t, really…)?].

Where did I get this reliable sort of information? Well, from the lips of the would-be rapper himself, o’ course. Fiddy-Quid/Knuts (He’s going to be trans-magical-barrier, incidentally) said that, just like actual rap (I’m trying to be as politically incorrect as possible here. Also, the emphasis below is mine):

“I can only think that it was an attempt at dry wit that went completely over their head. I don’t know. Needless to say, I’m not planning on taking the UK grime scene by storm.”

The Hollywood Reporter then asked him, if he was going to be a rapper, what would his name be? Tom Felton replied:

“I have no idea. That’s a good question, I’ll think about it”

All I can say is I’ve got two names ready for the taking. He doesn’t even have to ask. So go ahead, Tom, go over the humanly-possible-talking-speed-limit and wow us with your warp-speed poetry.

I have a last lingering question, however: if one were to take the UK Grime scene by storm, would it still be called a “Grime” scene if the grime all gets washed away by the rain? What if it was acid rain. The Acid Rain scene… I think I like that.

Well, here we are again, Avada Kedavra-ing rumors! They call us Felt-Ninjas by nightfall. We have six strings for our ironically-silent weapons.

Over-and-Out

Tom Felton Proposes “Potter Anonymous” for the world AP

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Josh Horowitz from MTV interviews Tom Felton on the red carpet. As per usual, the interview is quite entertaining.

In it, Tom Felton proposes “Potter Anonymous” for the cast AP. That’s After Potter, or AP-ocalypse. Which ever you deem more worthy. But… check it: PA for AP. It’s like chiasmus. But not really.

If you haven’t already seen the “Speaking American” clip in our previous post, here you go:

HAVE FUN!!!

Next Round of Video Haul In – Tom Felton on the NYC Red Carpet HPDHP2

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Now, I know you want to watch the videos and not read my blah blahblah blah blahs, so I’ll get right to it, shall I?

> First up is PopSugarTV’s all-around interviews on the red carpet. Although it might seem like a video about Emma Watson’s freaking-pretty-awesome-possum (I think) dress, Tom does appear at about minute 1:20, subliminally, and 1:25:

> Second is a voyeuristic (don’t we love those) view from Ezriela86, a fan with a camera, focused on Tom Felton as he signs autographs and talks with people across from them on the red carpet:

> This third one is not quite from the red carpet, but it’s a fun one. Remember the other day when we posted a video of Tom Felton delivering pizza? Of course you do… what’s wrong with me. This video is from the lucky eaters who devoured said Tom-Felton-Delivered pizza. You can hear the shout of “Thanks for the pizza, Tom” more clearly, but you can’t quite see Tom Felton, I’m afraid. Either way, thanks to MadeOfSattire for showing us the other side:

> The fourth one has the longest footage of Tom Felton yet. From the LosAngelesTimes, the whole video is their interview with Tom Felton on the red carpet. One thing of interest: If you previously haven’t been able to see how hot it actually was that day (I know I can read the signs, but just in case you’re lucky and can’t), you can almost feel how freaking hot it was. I want a glass of ice water just watching it.

Aaaaaaaannnnn, that’s all for now, folks. BUT, oh… I have to post this picture. We previously posted a picture post, and while all of the pictures are awesome, this one just blows you away with happiness. Makes your cheeks hurt from grinning. Is like a shot of… okay, I’ll stop, but that’s just how awesome it is, and it should be highlighted here. I think, anyway:

[Picture links to gallery]

(PS: The pics with his mother are really great too. Her pride just flows into the camera – Check ’em)

Ta.

And thanks to all!